Is It Right For Christians To Date, And If So, How Far Is Too Far When Courting or Dating?

[AJ 'AJ ROK' WOODSON]

Ok my Spiritual Minded Fam,
The inspiration for this one came from 2 discussions I saw on another spiritually-based social network called Christian Hang Suite, then I was asked a few questions on facebook about the whole dating thing over the past 48 hours which reminded me of these two discussions. I combined them to make start a discussion for us to discuss, and want to hear from the Spiritual Minded Fam on this one. All my single folks out there and you married folks too, you ain't always been married, don't be scared, holla at ya boy!
-AJ ROK

Is it right for christains to date? or should they not date at all?

I was just told two days ago.That there is no dating in the Kingdom. Many times the church does't have guide lines on if it's right or wrong to date. Let me know what you feel about this question. - Lawrence Adams

How Far Is Too Far When Courting or Dating?

I recently went to a Christian Single's Roundup and some questions about dating, sex and courting came up. One question came up that had me thinking, not about my salvation but about the person who asked this question.
The question was, "If you're involved with someone, how far is too far in the relationship". Is kissing, holding hands, touching etc... too far.
As Christians, we should know that we should not put ourselves in a situation to allow temptation. The devil is very busy to act upon unguarded moments.
But I would like your opinions on this question. - Corine Lopez

OK SPIRITUAL MINDED FAM, DONT LET ME DOWN, I WANNA HEAR FROM EVERYONE!!!

[AJ 'AJ ROK' WOODSON]

Reply by AJ ROK on July 30, 2008 at 9:58am (a year or so before getting married)
That's an interesting question...
and I don't know it dating itself is really covered in the Bible
(if so someone please let a brotha know)
it does however state no sex before marriage
which I know alot of us haven't stuck to, well atleast allow me to speak for myself...
but I can't see anything wrong with dating, I mean thats just me,
dating is the getting to know stage, how you find out you are compatible?
I think people mix up dating and sex and the two aren't necessarily one and the same
even when one is often a goal to the other!
The persons who said this to you, are they married,
if so asked them how they got to know their helpmate!
I would also like to hear how others feel on the subject
great discussion, I hope others post their true feelings as well.
- AJ ROK!

[AJ 'AJ ROK' WOODSON]

To kick things off I will share the comments brotha Black and I left on CHS last year...

Reply by Black on July 30, 2008 at 9:38am
The word of God declares that the man that findeth a wife findeth a good thing and receiveth favor from the Lord. We need a vehicle and a format to determine what we've found, don't we? We need a period of time to establish levels of intimacy. And there are many levels of intimacy in which there is no exchange of body fluids. God provides us with much liberty within the parameters of His word to enjoy one another as people of God. We are free to enjoy one another and the Zoe life He has established for us, as long as we acknowledge one another in a godly way. Solomon acknowledged his mate in a godly way by calling her " my sister, my spouse" (Song of Solomon 4:9-10). We don't have to be in denial of the full measure of passion that resides in each of us. God wired us this way and allows us full expression of it, as expressed in Song of Solomon. We just have to do it God's way and keep our flesh in check.

[Sufferahsmusic Media Prod]

i think when dating you should keep it your business rule one wether your christian or not...the church should stay out of peoples personal life ... sometimes religion brainwash people to think that your pastor or church has the right to butt in your personal life...they dont only if you request advice...as for how far i would go...in any situation its the womans choice as always and as a red blooded man i'm willing to go as far as she want to ..i'll repent later..christian or not...i'll go over the rainbow and back if it makes the little lady happy... hope i didnt offend anyone...but as i'm an honest man i say it how i live it...peace

[AJ 'AJ ROK' WOODSON]

That's all I'm asking for my dude, everyone to speak how they feel on the topic. Now I already know we won't all agree, but the point wasn't to reply only if you agree but post your thoughts on the topic! To get us talking on the subject. Thank U for sharing my brotha! Everyone keep em comin, and if you disagree lets keep it clean, ye heard!

[Logan]

The foundation has already been laid. No sex before marriage (Ephesians 5:3), treat any lady with the same respect you would your sister and mother (1 Timothy 5:1-2), and keep your relationship with the Father first (Matthew 22:37). The church was designed to equip us with the knowledge to survive during the spiritual warfare that we face daily. It is good that believers share the knowledge of the Word and our experiences so that others son't have to make the same mistakes.(Revelation 12:11) I personally didn't know how to date early in my life, and I made terrible mistakes with women that effected both of us negatively. I would adlvise anyone that was seeking this advise, to remain in the will of God. Don't put yourself or the person you're dating in any situation that may cause you to go against the will of God. And pushing the limits can be like playing with fire. Satan is seeking what he can kill, steal and destoy. Leave yourself open, and he will burn you. Last, there is a difference in true repentence and being truly sorry. To be sorry is to recognize the wrong and feel regret. But to repent is to be sorry and turn away from the action that caused the sorrow. God will not be mocked! Unlees we repent we will die. (Luke 13:3)

[AJ 'AJ ROK' WOODSON]

Thank You Very Much Brotha Logan
and especially thank you for bringing the biblical references for anyone who may be seeking that and want to guided by the Word! I have to add I like you didnt know how to date early in my life either. I also made some terrible mistakes that like you said effected both of us, but now I do know and prayerfully this forum which prevent some from making the mistake we have, thank you again my brother!

[charles kevin moore]

Drop the knowledge on 'em bro'!!! Thats good stuff. Keep it real!!!

[Shelly David Wright]

The bottom line is anything that will lead to you getting all HOT and BOTHERED should not be done. There are many who call themselves Christians who behave just as they did in the world. There was a discussion on the radio the other day about these Menace-sters who have children with other members they've slept with. If the Leader can't set the example then the others will fall as well. My testimony is I've been 13 years celibate and now I feel I don't want to get involved with anyone unless it leads to marriage. I feel I'm a Wedding Night Prize and a lifetime present that will keep on giving through Yah. We need to surely teach our young to ABSTAIN from all appearances of EVIL/WHORING. Marriage is the only thing Yah recognizes and anything less is WRONG. There is a poem I wrote entitled DATING THAT LEADS TO MATING. TOUCHING SPELLS TROUBLE!!!!!!!!!! Ever heard of AROUSAL?

[Logan]

PRAISE GOD FOR YOUR TESTIMONY BROTHA WRIGHT! Continue to be that living example for Christ! Great is your reward! You teach Dating Principles 101 perfectly with "I don't want to get involved with anyone unless it leads to marriage". If the two can't see the relationship developing toward marriage, if they can't see a future with the person they are dating, then it's not worth it. It can only lead to trouble. That trouble doesn't have to be just sex, but emotional and mental pain as well. Keep on pressing toward the mark brotha! TO GOD BE THE GLORY!

[SPIRITUAL MINDED RADIO]

Thank you brotha Shelly David Wright,
I applaud your obedience to the Word and abstaining. Something not many saved or unsaved do these days. For we are taught that God rewards obedience. And I know as long as you continue to let Yah be ya guide, He will bless you with the one He has hand selected for you, the one He created for you before either one of you were born. You are a example and I thank you very much for sharing your testimony!

[charles kevin moore]

If we are truly Christian then we have one foundational truth that we live by and thats the Bible, which is the infallible word of God. The first obligation that we must fulfill is that our bodies belong to God- know ye not that you are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy which temple you are(ICorinthians 3:16,17). Take a look at I Corinthians 6:15-20. We are always obligated as God's people to uphold the Lord's reputation of holiness. We must all know were to draw the line in dating so that we will not be tempted beyond what we can bear. Only you know this for yourself by the spirit-For what man knoweth the things of man, save the spirit of man which is in him? Personally i think the Bible is clear that it is good for a man not to touch a woman unless he is married to her. Other things like spending too much time and bearing your soul to someone of the opposite sex other than your wife can lead to much trouble. So know your weaknesses and don't cross the line. Look at Proverbs 7:21-22. God only forgives true repentence.

[AJ 'AJ ROK' WOODSON]

thank u brotha Charles, again let me say welcome to the spiritual minded fam. I look forward to the further seeds you shall sow upon the site in the near future!